Plant Trees SF Events 2006 Archive: 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021


Hello Burners.  As usual, there's just way sooo much going on ... yep ... it's the ongoing challenge of living in the Bay Area: TOO much to do!!  Here's what's up in this edition of "As the Burner Burns":

- Crucible Fire Arts Festival
- Cap'n Nifer's Nautical Nascency
- Opulent Temple Fundraiser
- Outpost23 Camp Fundraiser
- Cyclecide Weekend
- Black Rock Roller Disco events galore
- Dreaming in a Firestorm's final 3 weeks
- The Art Don't Stop on 6th Street

Good luck with all that, and burn on!

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Fire Arts Festival at the Crucible
July 13-15

Towering pillars of flame, cracking bolts of electricity, bodies dancing through fire – experience a four-day celebration of creation through fire & light. Come during the day to learn new skills at special Crucible workshops and classes. Return at night as the Fire Arts Arena lights up with fire performance, music, and the works of innovative fire sculptors.

More information:

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One-sentence summary for the extremely busy:

Dress up as a PIRATE, and show up at 11AM THIS SATURDAY at the small
field SE of STOW LAKE DRIVE in Golden Gate Park (green circle on the
enclosed map) where we will rent boats and celebrate the BIRTHDAYS of
Cap'n Nifer and Cabin Grrrl April with a drunken treasure hunt.


WHAT: A legendary PYRATE BATTLE and TREASURE HUNT on land and sea
(well, lake) to celebrate the BIRTHDAY of CAP'N NIFER NEFARIOUS!

WHEN: THIS SATURDAY, July 15th, 11 AM - 4 PM
(Leaving plenty of time to make it to the Fire Arts Festival, if
that's where ye be headed afters...)

WHERE: STOW LAKE, Golden Gate Park
Assemble discreetly in the small field SE of Stow Lake Drive (the
green circle on the enclosed MAP). Avoid the boathouse, especially if
dressed like a pirate. We will then rent boats and set sail at NOON.
Late arrivals will miss out on much of the fun, so please be as PROMPT
as your scurvy hangovers allow.

DRESS: Pirate costumes heartily encouraged, but by no means necessary.
We want your COMPANY most of all, so don't let a lack of garb prevent
ye from coming! NOTE: If ye still possess a PIRATE FLAG from last
year's merriments, please BRING IT with you.

RSVP's not required, but appreciated.


Infrequently Asked Questions (for those BORED AT WORK, the PERPETUALLY

Q. Who be this CAP'N NIFER?
A. Ye most likely know her as Nifer Fahrion, aka spiderfiend
(, aka NiferCritter. Wife of Colin Fahrion
( and girlfriend to Aaron Muszalski
( If none of these names ring any bells, then
ye've likely been hitting the grog too much, in which case you're
exactly the sort of salty dog what should come to our party. YARRR!

Q. What if I arrive late?
A. We strongly recommend that you arrive promptly at 11 AM. If you are
excessively detained (pesky Spanish armada!) you will likely miss the
THRILLING boat ride and ensuing TREASURE HUNT. If a late arrival is
unavoidable, you should be able to easily find us in one of the
following places: embarking from the Sekkrit Pyrate Harbour (marked
with a flag on the enclosed map), battling on Stow Lake, or atop
Strawberry Hill (the yellow circle on the map), where our revels will
come to a rummy end. In a pinch, you can always try to reach us via
cellular parrot at 415.571.7764 (Slim) or 415.350.9929 (Colin). YARRR!

Q. Must I ride a boat?
A. Not at all. If you are disinclined toward seagoing divertissements,
you may instead opt to go straight to the booty and booze portion of
the day's schedule. YARRR!

Q. How much does it cost to rent a boat?
A. Boat rental costs between $4 and $5 per person (4 pirates per
boat). Bring some money and ID for the rental. For each boat to be
rented, we recommend that at least one or two people arrive dressed in
street clothes so as not to raise any suspicions at the rental desk.
(Oddly, they're not always embracing of such shenanigans.) You can
then change into your pirate garb AFTER renting the boat and piloting
it to the Sekkrit Pyrate Harbour. YARRR!

Q. I am but a genteel landlubber, and don't wish to get wet. What are
my chances?
A. Very good! Our new PYRATE CODE clearly specifies that all dunkings
be CONSENSUAL. While good-natured backstabbing and betrayal is
heartily encouraged, ye must make sure that any rough play or physical
contact is welcomed. Be considerate, respect other's boundaries and
stop immediately if asked. YARRR!

Q. A hearty sea-dog am I, eager to sink me enemies in the briny deep.
What be me chances?
A. Very good! If last year's adventure was any indication, you will
likely have many opportunities to send your fellow pirates to their
watery reward. Ship to ship combat on Stow Lake (between consenting
pirates, of course) can be as raucous and ribald as you want it to be,
and is notoriously ungoverned by international law. YARRR!

Q. What about gifts?
A. No gifts are necessary; the simple grace of your presence at our
silly little ramgoolie is more than enough. However, all pirates will
RECEIVE a special hand-made gift. YARRR!

Q. And food?
A. There will be a potluck picnic after the treasure hunt. BYOG (Bring
Your Own Grog) or other comestibles. YARRR!

Q. Is drinking allowed?
A. Probably not, but what with us being fearsome PYRATES and all, tis
doubtful that anyone will try too hard to stop us. Still, if ye plan
to bring your own grog, tis recommended that you be at least
/somewhat/ discreet, especially while on the water. YARRR!

Q. Can I bring friends?
A. All are welcome, especially those what bring extra GROG! YARRR!

Q. I don't have a pirate costume. What should I do?
A. First, know this: being a pyrate is chiefly about ATTITUDE. Adopt a
scurvy swagger and a salty stench, pepper your sentences with "AVASTS"
and "ARRRS", and you can pass amongst all but the most sober of sea
rats. But if a proper pirate costume is what you desire, then may we
suggest visiting any of the Barbary Coast's many notorious thrift
shoppes, such as Mission Thrift, Thrift Town, Goodwill, or Goodwill
"As Is". Also good are vintage boutiques such as Aardvark's Odd Ark
and Villians, overpriced though they tend to be. Tawdry piratical
accessories can be found at Happy Trails and Cheap Thrills. Lastly,
forget not the POTENCY of thy friendly PIRATICAL BROTHERHOOD. Many of
your friends and community members harbor highly-developed nautical
fetishes, and possess a surfeit of piratey garb, ready to share just
for the asking (though a donated bottle o' grog may help smooth the
deal). YARRR!

Q. I have some extra piratey wear. Should I bring it with me?
A. Certainly, so long as you are okay with lending it to a rabid sea
rat for use in a grog-soaked treasure hunt on on a muddy excuse for an
ocean. Irreplaceable period wear should probably be left at home, or
at least kept well away from battle. YARRR!

Q. Where can I find still yet more information?

Q. Does this party have anything to do with "Pirates of The Carribean:
Dead Man's Chest"?
A. Anyone asking this question will have their tongue cut out and fed
to me parrot. And NOT in that order. YARRR!

Q. What's with all the faux piratical affectations?

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 Saturday, July 15th

Opulent Temple presents: 'The Professionals Party' *
 -A private party at the Porn Palace (415 Jessie St., across from Mezzanine) for only 350 people and a 100% benefit for the Opulent Temple. 

 DJ's include OT pros: Syd Gris, Hoj, Dutch, Jeffrey Allen, Nathan Vain, Vinkalmann, Daniel Cain, and Dulce Vita. 
 + friends and guests Smoove, Murphstar, Tamo, Melyss, Jayo
 + special guest the drummin' Texan doing a special closing set 

-2 rooms of sound and nooks and crannies of fun only to be had at the Porn Palace. 2 bars with cheap drinks.  Limited Capacity, guaranteed entry w/ pre-sale only until midnight.

Tickets available on line ($25 price includes service charge) : 
 -and- at BPM Records: 678 Fillmore at Hayes (no service charge either). 

* When we say 'professionals', we're just being cheeky! We don't mean business profressionals, sex professionals, or anything else - we mean Burners like you, with years of qualified training in high level FUN. : )

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..::Mission Control::.. July 15th, 2006 :: TEXAS FAGGOT and SQUAREMEAT!

 Join us for a night of cutting edge psychedelic trance with two of the
world's finest paired with San Francisco's best to benefit the upcoming
Burningman psytrance camp - Outpost23!

Outpost 23 Proudly Presents...

..:: Mission Control ::..
Launching Outpost23 into "The Future"

July 15th 2006
9PM - 6AM :: Underground SF Warehouse Location
$15 at the Door


TEXAS FAGGOT - LIVE! (Exogenic Records)


SQUAREMEAT - LIVE! (Exogenic Records)

With Support From:

Michael Liu (Secret Psychedelica)
Obu (Bombay Power)
Liam Shy (Tantra)
Sparkle (Outpost 23)
Epsilon (Outpost 23)

20,000 Watts of Sound by SPL Sound
Visuals by Orie
Bar Open All Night Long

This party will reach capacity, we strongly encourage showing up early.

Tune into: for more information. Directions
will posted the day of the party.

The Outpost 23 crew is always dedicated to bringing you cutting-edge
music. Watch for details of our camp at Burning Man.

We sincerely hope you'll join us in this celebration of fun, music and
the pleasures of a healing dancing experience.

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BY MAYORAL PROCLAMATION -- no, really, we're not lying, the paperwork's done and Gavin Newsom said so -- THE WEEKEND OF JULY 22-23 HAS BEEN DECLARED "CYCLECIDE WEEKEND" IN SAN FRANCISCO!!!

Honk honk!

San Francisco's Heavy Pedal CYCLECIDE BIKE RODEO presents:
July 21nd - Poker Run, bar TBA
July 22, 2-10pm; July 23, 2-8pm - Mission Village Market, 18th and Alabama Streets, San Francisco.
Poker run participation $5, 21 and over. Carnival is all ages; $7-10 sliding scale. RIDER ASSUMES ALL RISK.

San Francisco's CYCLECIDE BIKE RODEO is, as always, 2 DUM 2 DIE -- and ready to get hitched at City Hall, regardless of handlebar shininess or headtube length. In the wake of their countless tours across the country, insane and successful hometown shows, myriad television appearances, documentary films, festival headlinings, international fashion magazine modeling spreads (no really), and cultural blah blah and interactivity thus and so on and the "for the Kids" every which way, the Honorable Gavin Newsom and the City of San Francisco do hereby proclaim July 22-23 to be CYCLECIDE WEEKEND.

And in return, Cyclecide is proving its eternal love to the City and to the culture of the bike with a  freakish, pedal-and-contraption-centric carnival of stupid and epic proportions. Mutant Bike Clubs from all of the U.S.A. will descend upon San Francisco -- from as far away as Seattle, Reno, and New York -- to carouse and joust and make out with local hotties. The Cyclecide Bike Rodeo will run around like a chicken with its head geeked off. There will be bands, shows, games, and general cacophony, the likes of which San Francycle has rarely seen. Accept no imitations -- CYCLECIDE REMAINS THE WORLD'S ONLY BIKE RODEO AND PEDAL-POWERED CARNIVAL MIDWAY! Even the mayor agrees.

POKER RUN. Starts at darkish. Bar TBA on Wherein mutant bicycling fans and feisty cyclists are all invited to throw in $5 to participate in a multi-bar POKER GAME involving DRINKING and BICYCLING. There will be prizes and very probably some pie-fighting and light pavement-wrestling

PEDAL MONSTER Festival takes over the Mission Village Market. (P.S. the market is slated for destruction soon after that. Bye-bye, lovely Mission weekends searching the flea market for thrifty treasures. Sniff.)

-Cyclecide Rides & Sideshow, with Skits, Mutant Bikes, Rodeo Clowns, and punk rock mariachi band Los Banos

-An Only In San Francisco Circus Midway, with Wrong-Way Bike Games, Ornery Clowns Doing Incredibly Stupid Things, and Hot Utra Gypsy Bellydancers Selling Raffle Tickets for Mutant Bikes and Other Prizes.

-Interclub Tallbike Jousting, as seen on TV and in the 2003 film-festival hit documentary *Too Dumb To Die* -- contestants include Neanderthals from out-of-town bike tribes, Doyle the 2005 World Tallbike Jousting Champion, and Gorgar the Vain and Belligerent Urine-Eating Monster

-Pervitadora Records' Glen Meadmore -- the Hot, Horny, and Born-Again Singing Cowboy

-The Life-Size Mousetrap -- the Rube Goldberg-inspired creation based on the children's board game but instead of a net at the end there's a 2-ton safe that smashes things. With three-a-day performances by sexy mice, cranky blue-collar clowns, and the one-woman-band Esmerelda Strange

The Disgusting Spectacle -- a Giant Head Sculpture that Picks its Own Nose with an Equally Giant Pointy-Fingered Hand, Powered by a Human-Sized Hamster Wheel

BMX Ramp Competition and Flatland Expo Presented by First Rule

Kielbasa, the Accordion-Playing Lunch Lady

The Slow Poisoner

The Outlaw Country of Hellbound Glory

Flower Frankenstein / BikiniKat

DJs Toph One, jef leopard, Renessa, & Big Daddy

Emceed by the Reverend David Apocalypse

More acts TBA.
More details at:

Available for interview: Cyclecide's "fearless bleeder" Jarico Reesce and the Life-Size Mousetrap's creator Mark Perez
For high-res photos or more questions, call Cyclecide press office at (415)596-6599 or email

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Black Rock Roller Disco presents The CellSpace Roller Jam   Thursday, July 27 - 8PM to Midnight 
It's time to break out those disco roller skates and get ready to party!
Come join D. Miles, San Francisco's "GodFather of Skating" and the Black Rock Rollers at the CellSpace in San Francisco as we present the first of several events that will help raise funds to bring the Golden Gate Park skate scene to the playa at Burning Man 2006. Come on out and get your skate groove on with the Black Rock Roller Disco and have a funky good time with us!!!
On Thursday, July 27 from 8:00 P.M. to midnight, the Cellspace in San Francisco's Mission District will be transformed into the Black Rock Roller Disco, one of Burning Man's most interactive playa experiences.  We'll be rolling to the old school funk and roller disco roller as we prepare to bring the San Francisco skate scene to the playa in 2006.  We will have plenty of skates available for you and a friend so come on out and let's roll!!!
This is the first of four fundraising events that the Black Rock Rollers will be presenting as we approach Burning Man 2006. These events are:

Thurs. July 27 - Black Rock Roller Disco CellSpace

Sat. July 29 - The SF Beer Olympics - Golden Gate Park

Sat. Aug. 5 Black Rock Roller Disco at Redwood

Roller Rink in Redwood City, Ca.

Thurs. Aug. 17 - Black Rock Roller Disco CellSpace ll

This year we have better skates, a bigger surface, 2 foosball tables, air hockey and more. We'll be pumpin' with the JBL powered 15's all night long and you'll be able to spot that disco ball from a mile away - maybe 2.  Also be on the lookout for some hot all girl Roller Derby action on the rink. They may give the Thunderdome a run for their money - on skates!!!!!


$10.00 per person in playa garb.

$15.00 per person without.

$5.00 for skate rentals.   Roller Skates and Rollerblades will be available.   You can choose.

The Cellspace is located at 2050 Bryant Street between 18th St. and 19th St. in San Francisco. Their number us 415-648-7562. 

For more information e-mail the GodFather at or call 415-752-1967

D. Miles Jr.
The GodFather

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Everyday Theatre is halfway through the summer run of Dreaming in a Firestorm ... and there are only 3 weeks left. The remaining shows are Saturdays July 15th, 22nd, and 29th. It's a great show ... make sure to see it before it's all over! 

"Affecting and wise ... inspired stuff, howlingly funny." 
- East Bay Express 
(full story: ) 

"[Barsky] constructs this play by grafting two disparate traditions, traveling Jewish theater and hip-hop, into a cohesive whole." 
- San Francisco Chronicle 
(full story: ) 

"[A] warmhearted, multidexterous solo performance.... The show's haunting, densely textured beat-box and flute codas keep us traveling along."
-Chloe Veltman, SF Weekly 

In this day and age of big media, big money, and corporate packaged McEntertainment, supporting underground theatre is not just a choice of how to spend your entertainment dollar, it's a statement that you support the voices that are drowned out by big media and multiplexes.  EDT is commited to the belief that although "the play's the thing", the real play is not simply on stage.  We believe in the ability of theatre to create fundamental change, and we've dedicated ourselves to it even when it has endangered our most basic standard of living.   We'd like to humbly ask you to join with us in the struggle again.  And, at the same time, see an amazing show.

EDT doesn't take corporate money, and we don't rely on a subscriber base.   In order to keep our ticket prices low and our aesthetic standard high, EDT depends on word of mouth to spread the news about our shows.  So please, take a moment to call a few folks you think may want to hear about this show, share this email with your friends and your lists, or drop us a line and ask how you can get involved.  Bring a posse with you to the show... it's a great night out.

Last but not least, thank you for taking the time to read this.  Simply put: we can't do it without you.  Thank you for being part of it.

All the best ...
Tim, Will, Tanya, and the EDT Team


Everyday Theatre (EDT) 
creators of "The Bright River" 
proudly present: 

"Dreaming in a Firestorm" 
 a new show by Tim Barsky, with director Ellen Sebastian Chang 

The fairy-tale story of a musician walking home through a San Francisco that is part dream and part disaster. "Dreaming" weaves oral histories about hoping against hope inside a world on fire. Drawn from interviews with performers, paramedics, teachers, and firefighters, and featuring a live hip-hop soundtrack, beatbox, physical theatre and Jewish folklore. 

Saturdays July 15th, 22nd and 29th 
2232 MLK 
2232 Martin Luther King Avenue (at West Grand), Oakland 
Doors at 8pm 

Tickets are $12 (general) and $20 (VIP reserved). To purchase tickets, visit 

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What if we injected some of that creative playa community spirit into a
struggling San Francisco neighborhood?

Thursday, July 20 5:30-8:30pm
Sidewalk at the corner 6th and Minna Streets

Join us for an art-making, live music, pizza party, community organizing
event in connection with "The Art Dont Stop on 6th Street"
<> at D.A. Arts Gallery.

Wanna Join in the Public Art Fun?

I've got art up at D.A. Arts, a new gallery - actually more of a display
window that can be viewed from the sidewalk - at one of the dirtier
corners in the city.

You can't go into the gallery, so the reception will be out on the sidewalk.

As I plan this reception, it has continued to grow.  I've been
recruiting musicians; Wendy and Wendy of Wendy Magazine
<> will help run a collaborative drawing
table; there will be an art project that encourages people to imagine
how they think 6th street should look; the organization SomCan will be
talking with community members about their work torward keeping
affordable housing in the neighborhood; and who knows what else.

Do you have any ideas for this event?
This neighborhood needs the love!  There's lots of families living
near 6th Street and there's a strong Philipino community - but there's
also a lot of sick people overshadowing all that.

Any ideas and questions are welcome!

Rock on-
Todd Berman <>

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